Everyone complains of wedding planning stress at some point in the process, even those laid back brides will have a few moments of panic just before or on the morning of the big day. And yet there are very few couples who regret the day, even if they have learned a few tips and tricks along the way. Once all the planning is in place and you finally wake up on the morning of your wedding, more often than not you’ll find the day flies by in a mad flurry of smiles, laughter, (happy!) tears and far too many memories to even capture on film. So, how do you tune out all the noise and truly enjoy the day?
Preparation & Planning
The secret to enjoying a successful wedding is finding the balance between careful planning and being in the moment. There is only so much preparation you can do, but there are some things that really need planning.
Plan together – This may sound obvious, but when one person manages all the planning it can result in the other person only seeing the cost and facing far too many surprises on the day. Plan together and make it a joint adventure.
Anticipate – Know yourself and plan accordingly. If it’s going to be a hot day - pack a spare shirt, if you are always late – leave extra early. You won’t regret these little aspects of preparation, but they could save you a great deal of stress on the day.
Timeline – Plan out the day and allow extra time as you’re nearly guaranteed to run over. Work with your photographer on the timeline as they have plenty of experience and can guide you. Husband and wife photography team, the Youngrens have a wedding photography guide to give you an idea of what works.
Plan photography shots – Plan all the shots you want with your photographer and make sure there’s enough time for them all in the timeline. If you’re planning a lot of group shots let your family and friends know beforehand. It will save you a lot of time running around finding everyone on the day.
Don’t do too much – There is always a temptation to try to do everything and be as helpful as you can. Try to avoid anything that will take time in the days running up to the wedding or on the actual day. For example, if you arrange accommodation for friends and family and there are any problems, you will have to deal with them, which is the last thing you want to do on the night before your wedding. Be helpful, but don’t make yourself responsible for everything.
Strict guestlist – It is easy to feel pressured into inviting your mum’s best friend or partners of friends and family, but try to be as strict as you can and limit the guest list to people you know and love. A good trick to help you narrow down the list is to consider if you know and like them enough to buy each person dinner. If not, should you really be inviting them to your special day?
Delegate – Make use of your wedding party. They will be more than happy to help in any way they can and it will make everyone feel more connected. Give them set tasks on the day, such as gathering guests for photos, or making sure your granny is looked after.
Know your photographer – Planning an engagement shoot might seem like an unnecessary extra, but it is the perfect way to get to know your photographer and get comfortable with them. Being photographed all day can be very tiring and unnerving if you aren’t used to it, so forming a bond with the photographer will help you to enjoy the day, which will definitely show in the photos.
Surprise each other – Plan a surprise for your spouse-to-be. It can be something small like a little gift for them to open in the morning, or something big like hiring a surprise gospel choir to sing during the ceremony. When you’ve planned every detail together, a little surprise will go a long way to making the day feel even more special.
On the Day
In theory once the wedding day actually arrives you should be able to take off your planner hat and just enjoy the day, but we all know that isn’t true. There’s always things to organise and questions to answer and of course, everyone will be looking to you for the answers (unless you’ve prepped your wedding party to intercept all questions!).
Emergency kit – Your bridesmaids or groomsmen may do this for you, but if not put together a little emergency kit so you are prepared for anything. You don’t need to have everything, but a few of the essentials are safety pins, wet wipes (ideal for cleaning wedding dresses!), plasters and painkillers.
Eat & sleep – Getting a good night’s sleep and having a balanced breakfast will give you the energy and mental clarity you need to keep going all day.
Don’t stress the small stuff – Things will go wrong, but ultimately it doesn’t matter. Everyone is there to celebrate your wedding and they won’t care or notice if things aren’t perfect. Also, you don’t want to be caught on camera looking stressed!
Mindfulness – Take a few moments throughout the day to appreciate everything. Practising mindfulness may help you with this and allow you to enjoy your day more.
Make time – Set aside time for yourselves away from everyone else, even if it is just 5 minutes to be alone together. The day can be quite overwhelming and you may need a little break. Also make time for the most important people in your lives, such as your parents.
Things to Expect
The day will fly by, even faster than you expect.
Your face will hurt from smiling so much.
The 10 minutes before the ceremony are the most nerve-wracking.
Things will go wrong – from stains on the dress from the confetti to surprise fire alarms – but everyone will have fun anyway.
Kids get very excited about the confetti and throw as much as they can, as hard as they can!