Wedding traditions and superstitions are passed on through the generations and embraced, bringing meaning to the big day. But, just like a game of Chinese Whispers, some traditions that are still in place today have morphed from the original meaning and are only included in modern day weddings because they are expected or for the stunning photo opportunities. Sometimes surrounding yourself with familiar traditions is a great comfort, but knowing the reason behind these traditions and superstitions gives you the choice to only include them if you want to, and if they actually mean something to you.
Here comes the bride, all dressed in white
When you pass bridal boutiques across the country, they are instantly recognisable because of their windows showcasing grand white gowns. It is what we have come to expect from a wedding. Nowadays the quiet judgmental whispers of whether or not the bride ‘should’ be wearing white are a rarity, but for a long time the white wedding dress was a symbol of purity, innocence and most importantly, virginity. However, this wasn’t always the case and before Queen Victoria’s marriage to Prince Albert in 1840, white was actually a symbol of mourning. She discarded the royal tradition of the red wedding dress, opting for a white silk satin gown with a flower crown and setting the trend for centuries to come. Modern weddings embrace the colour white, whether in the form of a bridal gown, or matching white suits for same-sex couples, but the symbolism and judgement that once accompanied the colour is fading away with time.
Wearing a veil
The history of the veil is a complex one and there are many theories about why women wore veils, from a sign of respect and aristocracy, to showing modesty, to being protected from the evil eye. In ancient Rome the veil was designed to make the bride look like a flame, protecting her from evil spirits. In Christianity the veil is a symbol of modesty and is often worn when praying as a sign of submission to Christ. However, there are also more sinister theories behind the origin of the bridal veil, including weighing down the bride so that she couldn’t run away, and hiding the bride from the groom to prevent him from backing out of an arranged marriage. Today, in non-religious ceremonies the veil is often simply an accessory, worn away from the face without a thought spared for any evil spirits lurking around!
Giving the bride away
The moment when a father walks his daughter down the aisle is a special one, and everyone falls silent with a tear in their eye as they watch. The reason behind this particular tradition, however, is a little uncomfortable for modern women, as in the not so distant past the father would walk the bride down the aisle and give her to the groom, symbolising a transference of ownership. This is going back to the days when daughters were the property of the father and in return for handing over their daughter they would receive something, such as land or social status. Nowadays, people make their own decisions about who, if anyone, will walk them down the aisle, and even the practice of one person waiting and the other being presented in front of everyone is changing. One method that offers sweet symbolism is to have two doors that allow the couple to enter separately, meeting in the middle in front of everyone to be wed.
The eternal wedding ring
The moment of exchanging the wedding rings is an exciting one and the ring as a symbol of the eternal is well known and dates back to ancient Egypt. Today both men and women wear the wedding ring as a proud sign of their marriage, but some believe that the ring originated as a sign of ownership, proving to prospective challengers that the woman belonged to the man. Even in modern society there is an element of ownership to the ring, as it clearly shows the relationship status to strangers. However, even wedding rings are being given a modern twist, with some couples choosing to have a more permanent alternative, such as a tattoo.
Cutting the cake
The cutting of the cake is an odd tradition that many people don’t question simply because everyone loves cake and it’s a good photo opportunity. The tradition has changed over the centuries as weddings became grander and more complicated, but some believe it all started with the Roman tradition of the groom breaking a small loaf of barley bread over his bride’s head. This was to bring good fortune to the couple, but it was also a representation of the groom’s ownership of the bride and her impending lost virginity. As wedding parties increased in size so did the cake and this tradition turned into the bride cutting the cake on her own to feed the guests. Once again this was supposedly a symbol of her lost virginity. Nowadays very few people, if any, are thinking about virginity when the cake is cut and it is more of a symbol of celebration and a chance to showcase some impressive baking skills.
So many wedding traditions come from a time of superstition and inequality, but modern weddings offer an opportunity to correct those biases and give each tradition new meaning, while creating new and richer traditions along the way. If you don’t feel comfortable continuing with a custom that has no meaning for you, you don’t have to. Instead, you can create a ceremony and reception that is meaningful specifically to you both as a couple.